Interview for It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I'd rather be a 'has-been' than a 'might-have-been,' by far, for a 'might-have-been' has never been, but a 'has' was once an 'are.”, “Laughter is the best medicine in the world.”, More of the Best of Milton Berle's Private Joke File.

Explore Quotes from Milton Berle. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious. In the 40s and 50s the head Friar was Milton Berle. No, he answers, I hit every one of them! Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it. "If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. No, he answers, I hit every one of them!”, “Valentine’s Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.”, “A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, “Who Should we notify in case of an accident?” He mulls it over and then writes, “Anybody in sight!””, “Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.”, “The Post Office is very careful nowadays.

Share with your friends. As the host of NBC's Texaco Star Theater , he was the first major American television star and was known to millions of viewers as "Uncle Miltie" and "Mr. Television" during TV's golden age. Milton Berle quote : We owe a lot … Explore Quotes from Milton Berle.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. My wife made me swear that I wouldn’t give her a fancy gift. ", “I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star.

Welcome back. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends, This website or its third-party tools use cookies, which are necessary to its functioning and required to achieve the purposes illustrated in the cookie policy. I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he’s working. La citation la plus célèbre de Milton Berle est : « Sans Edison, nous regarderions la télévision à la lueur des bougies. Milton Berle. My wife and I have a perfect understanding. Money can't buy you happiness. Home My Books I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.”, “The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.”, “Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. I think he was right. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far for a might have-been has … 87 – Milton Berle profile quotes. Milton Berle Quotes When one thinks of Milton Berle, his sense of humor along with a powerful smile comes to mind instantly. Born In: New York City, New York, U.S. Died At Age: 93. You give them a grand – and they feel glorious.”, “My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.”, “A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step?
If you hire relatives, you’ll have a payroll that won’t quit. Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. Money can’t buy you happiness. A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? Milton Berle was an American comedian and actor. I think he was right. Folk who don’t know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now. Milton Berle Quotes. -- Milton Berle . If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Variant: If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. Valentine’s Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot. Variant: Laughter is an instant vacation.

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